Incompetent call center manager forces employee to follow awkward script word for word, gets a lesson when customer calls to compliment it: ‘Did you just say included therein?’

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  Stressed call center employee wearing headset while working at computer in busy office environment

• You want me to use the exact script word-for-word? Absolutely.

  I worked in a call center for a home warranty company for about a year and a half. If you don't know what that is, basically people pay a monthly fee and we cover repairs on appliances and home systems. The calls ranged from totally fine to absolutely miserable depending on the customer and the day.

  Our team had a supervisor I'll call Brenda. Brenda was very by the book, which is fine, but she had one specific thing that drove everyone insane: she was obsessed with the official call script. Every call had to open and close exactly as written, word for word, no variation, even if the phrasing was awkward or didn't quite fit the situation.

• A few of us had developed slightly smoother ways of saying the same things that customers actually responded better to, but Brenda kept monitoring calls and flagging anyone who deviated even a little. She pulled me aside twice in one week and told me to use the exact script, nothing more, nothing less, or it would go in my review.

  So I did exactly that. The closing script, written by whoever wrote it back in 2014 apparently, ended with the following: "Is there anything else I can assist you with today regarding your home warranty plan or any of the covered systems or appliances included therein?" 

  Every single call. Word for word. Customers would go quiet for a second because it sounds like a legal document, some would laugh, one guy asked me if I was a robot.

• At that point, it stopped being customer service and started feeling like a live reading of a contract no one agreed to. You could practically hear the confusion on the other end of the line. Some customers paused, some laughed, and others just tried to process what “included therein” even meant.

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• But hey, instructions were clear: no changes, no improvements, no common sense. Just full commitment to the script, no matter how unnatural it sounded. So that’s exactly what happened. If the goal was consistency, it was achieved. If the goal was sounding human… well, that was a different story entirely.

• The best part was a call near the end of my second week of full compliance. A customer said "did you just say included therein?" and I said yes sir that is our official closing. He laughed for a solid 20 seconds and then asked to speak to a manager to compliment me specifically for being the funniest customer service rep he'd ever talked to. I transfered him to Brenda.

  She never mentioned the script to me again after that.

  -timur_404

   

• Naturally, people had a lot to say about this one. From strict workplace rules to the fine line between professionalism and sounding like a robot, opinions were all over the place. Let’s see how the internet reacted to this perfectly executed compliance.

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• AuraeShadowstorm

  "I used to work in a call center for the US's biggest crappiest dial-up provider. We were told to use "words of encouragement" when troubleshooting. Basically, telling people what a great job they did following our instructions to fix the software.

  One of the worst phrases on the official list is absolutely terrifying to use. Imagine directing someone to uninstall the software to reinstall, and then you exclaim in your brightest, perkiest, nauseating, patronizing voice

  "WHAT A BRAVE THING YOU DID!"

• Noahms456

  "I would stick to the script. I can’t remember the company, but this was for DirecTV troubleshooting. I could do all kinds of stuff after a while that generally might fix the problem, but after a while, I was told to stick to the script, and it ended up never working the way the higher-ups wanted. Script says to send the technician? Send the technician. Customer can’t get on her hands and knees because she’s 80? Send a technician. Raining? Send a technician. I don’t care."

  
   

• BrewCityTikiGuy

  “Me as a teenager in the 90s: “Thank you for calling Musicland Southridge, where you can reserve your copy of The Lion King. This is Sam. How can I help you?”

  Me in the 2000s working at a Firstar Bank call center, and we had to close every call, even if they were irate, with: “We appreciate your business!”

  Ugh.”

• Sometimes following the rules too perfectly is the best way to show why they don’t work. What started as strict compliance turned into a moment of clarity. Maybe not every script needs to be followed word for word, especially when sounding human matters more than sounding official.

   

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